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Tuesday, July 15, 2003

One day on the job, and Rush Limbaugh proved that he's better suited for the political rather than sports arena.

A onetime KQV-AM jock (a.k.a. Jeff Christie) turned national radio phenomenon, Limbaugh was announced yesterday as the newest member of ESPN's "Sunday NFL Countdown" crew. Whereupon, Limbaugh -- the self-proclaimed Excellence In Broadcasting kingpin who failed in a previous television incarnation as a talk-show host -- tossed his hat into the ring for a Steelers Super Bowl.

Somebody please pass Rush a big, ole glass of shut your piehole.

ESPN, desperately seeking a weapon of massive distraction for "Countdown", turned to the only media type who makes as much annually as Texas' Alex Rodriguez.

This comes from the same Mickey Mouse organization that nearly hired Limbaugh three years ago for the "Monday Night Football" job that ultimately went to Dennis Miller. At least Miller speaks to the intelligent and the populist, even if not to the football fan. Do ESPN's demographics show a paucity of Dittoheads, Feminazis and Anti-Liberals watching?

Limbaugh will debut Sept. 7 with a weekly opinion piece on an NFL newsmaker and, either in the "Countdown" studio or via satellite, will get three challenges to rebut his fellow football commentators. He is supposed to provide ESPN with "the voice of the fans," but few of them can claim to personally know almost every owner in the NFL, let alone Newt Gingrich and the Beltway Boys. Few of them would dare say that the problematic Steelers are a lock to make the playoffs, let alone the Super Bowl.

Forget any Howard Cosell comparisons. Cosell was an accomplished sports journalist and blessed with a once-in-a-lifetime foil, Dandy Don Meredith. Limbaugh on "Countdown" is akin to Terry Bradshaw on "Face the Nation" or Deion "What Would Jesus Charge" Sanders on anything from the Discovery Channel.

We can only hope for a new variation to that old defensive football term: Rush ... end.