Friday, February 20, 2004

By Barbara Vancheri, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

'Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen'

Rated: PG for mild thematic elements and brief language

Starring: Lindsay Lohan

Director: Sara Sugarman

The movie "Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen" is like one of those balloons in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. It inflates with promise, but, a couple of blocks into the route, one of the arms deflates and the wranglers are left trying to maneuver around corners with something that ends up looking pitiful.

Lindsay Lohan, a Disney favorite from "Freaky Friday" and "The Parent Trap" remake, stars in the title role, a 15-year-old who is forced to move from New York to the Jersey suburbs with her mother and two sisters. She is a drama queen in every sense; she's an aspiring actress who calls herself Lola (rather than Mary) and a girl who goes to extremes in fashion, emotion and approach.

"Confessions," based on the Dyan Sheldon book, follows Lola's attempts to win the lead in the school play -- a rocked out version of "Pygmalion" in which Eliza is a supermarket cashier -- see her favorite band's final concert and outmaneuver the leader of the alpha girls. Her reluctant partner in these escapades is a quiet, good girl named Ella (Alison Pill), who doesn't want to upset her conservative, protective parents.

Director Sara Sugarman tries to jazz up "Confessions" with fantasy scenes and songs, including performances by Lohan, one of which looks like it doubles as a music video, complete with lip-syncing. Lohan projects enough energy for two teen movies and the expressive Pill looks like she stepped out of a real high school hallway.

In the end, though, "Confessions" feels as phony as the party it stages at a rock star's Soho apartment. It's not terribly funny or touching or original or much of anything, except harmless. It leans on the crutch of having Lola narrate the story, so we don't miss the lessons learned by closing credits. Turns out the suburbs aren't a wasteland; talk about a message made for the multiplex.

-- Barbara Vancheri

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