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Monday, March 03, 2003

By Karen MacPherson, Post-Gazette Washington Bureau

WASHINGTON -- Parents, take heart: A new poll released today shows that 90 percent of children ages 9-14 say that family and friends are "way more important" than things that money can buy.

More good news: Six out of 10 children surveyed say they'd rather spend time having fun with their parents than head out to the mall to go shopping, according to the poll commissioned for the Center for a New American Dream.

"The simple fact is that our kids need us now more than ever, and they know it," said Betsy Taylor, founder and president of the center, which focuses on helping Americans "consume more responsibly."

Yet only 32 percent polled said they spend a "lot of time" with their parents, Taylor added. One in four children said the lack of family time is due to the fact that their parents are too busy with work, while almost one in five blamed it on their own too-busy schedules of homework and extracurricular activities.

Asked what they would change about their parents' jobs, only 13 percent said they wished their parents made more money. The majority -- 63 percent -- said they would arrange it so their parents could spend more time doing fun family activities.

The poll, which is based on a sample of 746 children ages 9 to 14, was conducted by telephone in early February for the center by Widmeyer Communications. The poll has a 3.6 percent margin of error.

The center released the poll in tandem with the publication of a new book by Taylor titled "What Kids Really Want That Money Can't Buy" (Warner Books, $22.95). The book, an outgrowth of the center's work on the effect of commercialism on children, offers suggestions for parents who want to follow the center's motto "more fun, less stuff."

Overall, Taylor says, parents who say "no" to things their children want to buy should try to say "yes" to other things, particularly to spending more time together. In addition, there are times when parents might want to allow children to buy things that they don't totally approve of, Taylor said.

"This is not about depriving your children or having everyone become a [Henry David] Thoreau," Taylor said. "If you go with total deprivation, then parents will get a backlash because their children will feel so out of the dominant culture that they will feel unloved. But it does mean asking your children what it is that really matters to them."

Previous polls by the center have shown that nearly 90 percent of parents of children 2 to 17 believe that advertising and marketing aimed at children makes them too materialistic. Another poll, conducted by the center last year, found that the average American child, 12-17, will nag nine times to get a product that parents refuse to purchase, and half of parents eventually give into the pestering.

"We've lived in a commercial world for a long time. It's not a brand-new thing," said Taylor. "What is new, however, is the pervasive nature and intensity of the commercialism aimed at children. Today, anywhere children turn, someone is trying to convince them that they need to buy something, and that their identity depends on buying it."

Children themselves understand this, according to the center's new poll. In the poll, 81 percent complained that children "place way too much importance" on buying things, while 63 percent expressed concern that there is too much advertising that tries to get them to buy things.

Commercial pressures have grown over the years as children have had increased purchasing power, Taylor said. Children's spending has roughly doubled every 10 years for the past three decades, and by 2002, children 4-12 spent $40 billion, according to a report by a group called MarketResearch.com.

Many child development experts decry the increased marketing to children. "It makes parenting so much harder," said Diane Levin, a Wheelock College education professor. "Kids can't think about these things the way parents do, and it sets a wedge between them. As parents keep saying no, kids gradually begin dismissing their parents, seeing them as irrelevant and not caring about the things they care about."

Levin and Taylor recommend that parents try to lessen the commercial pressure on their children both by limiting commercial television and by teaching children the ways that marketers use commercial television to try to convince them to buy things.

"They are living in this commercial world, and we need to help them become responsible media consumers," Levin said.